Welcome

Last night I went to queenies house and we had some beers.
I got pretty wasted.
I came home around 1am.
I sat at my computer and just fucked around for a bit. Constantly noticing this movement in the corner of my eye. It was like a fluttering. Pretty big and loud. I thought I was just drunk and seeing things so I went about my business. Until the fluttering came so close that it almost smacked me in the friggin head. I jumped up to see what looked like a fucking crow in my living room. Flying around my house as if he fucking owned it.
I'd like to say that yes I took control of the situation and got it out of my house. But what am I kidding I ran so fucking fast to my front door scared as shat and down the stairs to my buddy Joes place. I banged so hard on his door cause he had to be home right now or else I was sleeping on his welcome mat.
His roommate Valerie answered the door. I ran passed her and yelled at Joe that there was a fucking bird in my house. Laughing at me he walked up to my apartment. Him and his buddy went in my house as Valerie and I stood just inside the door way.
I heard Joe yell "It's a bat!" As he grabbed my broom and began to swat it around the living room.
It was soooo funny cause they were screaming like little bitches! Once they tried to run for my door but I shut it and pulled on the door locking them in. They were getting rid of this bat weather they liked it or not. Twice that fucking bat flew out side and then flew back in.
After about 12 minutes of screaming and running around it was gone. I was sweating from running in and out and laughing so hard.
My naubours already hate me enough for the party's I have every weekend they probably were pissed last night. FUCK EM.
Regardless I slept soundly last night.