Life Lessons with Payton Manning

This Elizabeth bitch drives me nuts! She needs to dig a hole and crawl into it!

Baby Got Back

THE MAN WHO KNOWS HIS MATH.

He writes:

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female
driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the
driver to
drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his
arm out is window and gave the woman the finger.

" Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS
smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female
does anything to
me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not
bumper-to-bumper, I figure I
pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that
I pass everyday.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as
dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all
females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all
females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least
one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her
biggest problem,
has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is
armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so