WEIRD

GEORGE BUSH_rearrange_HE BUGS GORE

DORMITORY_rearrange_DIRTY ROOM

EVANGELIST_rearrange_EVIL'S AGENT

PRESBYTERIAN_rearrange_BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION_rearrange_A ROPE ENDS IT

THE MORSE CODE_rearrange_HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES_rearrange_CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY_rearrange_IS NO AMITY

My sis thought It would be a good idea to take advantage of the 3 minutes free on the phycic hot line. You know fucking miss cleo or something like that.
So instead of leaving her sis with a big bill she called them like 50 times for only 3 minutes at a time.
600 hundred fucking dollars later. I got the phone bill and beat her with it.
WOW I guess I shouldn't have gone to work cause it cost me more to do so.
I still owe 324 dollars for it.

IT HAPPENS AGAIN

I don't like mushrooms.


My sister got a dog for her birthday.
It was a Karen terrier.


One day I left my good good whole wheat shreddies on the coffee table.
The dog ate it.
And if it didn't look just fucking like mushroom soup!

ADDICTED

Every one is addicted to something.
I am addicted to my vibrator.
I think about it all the time. Like where I put it. Or if it needs new batteries.
I need to name my vibrator.
It deserves a good name for the many services it has done for me.
The touch of a good man might compare, but I would have to seriously debate that.

I AM

I am the girl that runs around in her underwear all day.
And I think that's fabulous!
Maybe I should buy curtains.

I just want to say...
Have a nice day
Dont be gay
Play in the hay
Call me in May
Please go away
My friends name is Jay
I just got my pay
Get out of my way
Whatever?
I have writers block

HAH

Today was the first day I've spent without my roommate.
She moved out yesterday.
She was my bestfriends little sister.
I miss her.
We always had lots of fun. We stayed up late. Got fucking shmamered every weekend.
The best was when we would drive around for hours in her car and sing to people ion cars beside us.
She is younger then me and I think she made me feel young again.
I don't think this city will be the same for me without her in it.
MISS U HAH!!!!!!

The other day I had lots of laundry to do.
There were no clean towels.
My roommate was taking a shower and grabbed a dirty one to dry off with.
I seen the towel that she use. It was a shit towel. Cause for some reason my son had got shit all over it. Don't ask kids are strange.
So anyway, watching her wrap her hair with the towel brought some sort of sick enjoyment.
I waited about 15 minutes before I told her that the towel had shit on it.
She replied by saying. " Ijust used this on my whole body."
HAHAHA It was great.

YOURS DID TOO!.....I THINK

My dad used to get really stoned, as I've told you before.
He was pretty amusing when he did so.
He would stand up and make everyone be really quiet. At this time he would be pulling his pants down and bending over. If someone made a noise he would stand up and say. "Sit down and watch my trick!"
Grabbing a lighter stumbling a bit he would fart and and hold a lighter to his ass.
Making a blue angel was very amusing to my father.
Except for the time he lit his ass hairs on fire.
That was amusing to me.
I was 11
Whatever?

I've never let a guy cum on my face.
It's not that I don't want to try it. It's just IM afraid of getting it up my nose.

MY FETISH

I cant stand people who have rotten teeth!
Teeth are my fetish. So if your teeth are rotten cause you don't fucking brush them then your just gross.
How hard is it really to take 10 minutes out of your day and brush them once or twice?
I just don't understand people like that.

Today is Saturday and my b-day is over.
I got the most beautiful flowers. I got a case of beer. And my man watched my son so I could go out and party. He's a good boyfriend. We were going to nice nice restaurant for dinner but we got a flat tire. By the time he changed it I wanted to go home and get started on my night. So we just went home. I told him we could go out another night.
I think he was looking forward to going out more then me.
But still I had to ask one more thing of my man.
I asked and he said yes. Oh he loves me dearly.
I asked him to go to the stag shop and by me a new vibrator cause mine broke. Hahahaha.
Like I said he loves me dearly.

MY SIS

My sister is the funniest person I know and its sad cause she's 7 years younger then me.
When were together sometimes all i do is laugh even when we just look at eachother.
She is very smart and is going to do great things with her life. When she grows up.
Take my strong arm LOL!
Anyway I just thought I would give my sis some props for being such a great chick.
LOVE YA SARAH!!!!

REALLY?

Did your dad used to fart in a cup and ask you to smell it?
Oh..........
Either did mine.....just asking.

THE GOOD OLD DAYS

My father used to get stoned and drunk. Then he would pick my cat up and lick it. When I would ask him what he was doing he would simply reply "I'm bonding with them." That's how you show them you love them.
I was 11.
Whatever?

YOU DO TOO!

I love singing songs I dont know the words to..........shumamuclayda

It's happened to you don't lie

Don't you just think it's the funnyest when you sit on the toilet to go pee. And when you start to pee you fart. Even if theres no one there you laugh.
I think this is a very common thing that happens to most people.
So please let me know if it is.

JUST PRETEND LIKE YOU GIVE A SHAT

I'm not going to start posting gay shat. But you'll have to excuse me for this moment when I say it's my b-day! I'm 24 today. My fucking back aches and I think I might have colon cancer. I also think I might have a lump under my left breast. FUCK I'M OLD!
Now that everyone hates me for saying that have a peachy fucking day!

WHAT THE FUCK?

Ok, so I really liked this guy once.
There was just something about him that made my butterfly's dance.
The only problem was that he was my boyfriends good friend.
So even if I wanted to sneak a peek of what he was like, I would have to plan carefully.
So slowly and not too obviously let him know that I wanted to fuck. Like giving him the eyes and touching when touching just wasn't necessary.
Oh...He was mine for the taking.
But IM not a cheater.
So I went to the party that the guy I liked was at. I called by boyfriend from there and broke up with him (temporarily)
We'll say the guy I liked his name was Rob, ok it really was but whatever.
We hung out all night drank some Blue and smoked some good shat.
I was sooo excited to rock his world.
When the time came, we were in my buddy Chris's room. Making out hardcore! Rubbing, kissing, tumbling all over. It was fucking great!
We began to rip each others clothes off. I wanted him inside me Now. I reached into his boxers to checkout my prize. "What the fuck is this?" I thought to myself hoping that he wasn't fully hard yet. Please God it has to be bigger then this 2 inches he provided me with here.
Alright. It's all good just because it's small doesn't mean it wont be good.
As he pushed himself in side me I could feel the warmth in my toes. ahhhh. "fuck me." I begged him.
Just as he began to thrust him self into me again. What the fuck?
HE FUCKING FARTED!!!!
Long story short. The next day I called my boyfriend and we got back together.

JEFFREY GOT FINGERED

Jeffrey doesn't like my spelling. Well Jeffrey I cant spell worth shit. Jeffrey pointed out that I spelt whether wrong. But Jeffrey couldn't catch ocations?(OCCASION)
Jeffrey must be a fucking English professor. This bolg if you didn't fucking notice is not something I do for a fucking living. It is here for entertainment purposes only. Sometimes I spell things so horribly that even spell checker cant figure it out. Oh by the way Jeffrey the weather out side was lovely today day whether or not you seen.
No pineapples for Jeffrey!

HOW MUCH ASS?

Ok.
Lets talk about ass.
When is the best time to give it up to your man?
I say holidays (Christmas,Easter,thanksgiving,birthdays,anniversary,ect...)
And special ocations. Like when your man comes home and tells you he got a raise. Shure you can fuck him good for that. But how much would he love you if you threw all little ass into the mix? Or when your man comes home with some beautiful flowers for no reason at all. Give that man some ass!
You see guys you don't want your girl to give it up too often cause then she would have a porno ass hole. Now see porno tits are nice. But porno ass is gross.
Thanks for listening I'm just glad I got that off my chest.
Please feel free to leave your thoughts on this.

Welcome

Last night I went to queenies house and we had some beers.
I got pretty wasted.
I came home around 1am.
I sat at my computer and just fucked around for a bit. Constantly noticing this movement in the corner of my eye. It was like a fluttering. Pretty big and loud. I thought I was just drunk and seeing things so I went about my business. Until the fluttering came so close that it almost smacked me in the friggin head. I jumped up to see what looked like a fucking crow in my living room. Flying around my house as if he fucking owned it.
I'd like to say that yes I took control of the situation and got it out of my house. But what am I kidding I ran so fucking fast to my front door scared as shat and down the stairs to my buddy Joes place. I banged so hard on his door cause he had to be home right now or else I was sleeping on his welcome mat.
His roommate Valerie answered the door. I ran passed her and yelled at Joe that there was a fucking bird in my house. Laughing at me he walked up to my apartment. Him and his buddy went in my house as Valerie and I stood just inside the door way.
I heard Joe yell "It's a bat!" As he grabbed my broom and began to swat it around the living room.
It was soooo funny cause they were screaming like little bitches! Once they tried to run for my door but I shut it and pulled on the door locking them in. They were getting rid of this bat weather they liked it or not. Twice that fucking bat flew out side and then flew back in.
After about 12 minutes of screaming and running around it was gone. I was sweating from running in and out and laughing so hard.
My naubours already hate me enough for the party's I have every weekend they probably were pissed last night. FUCK EM.
Regardless I slept soundly last night.

AND THE WINNER IS.........

They say if you drink pineapple juice on a regular basis that your pussy will smell sweet like pineapples. A theory I have no problem believing in.
They also say that if you eat lots of Samoan that your skin will have a natural glow.
So I'm off to the grocery store.

SMELL MY HANDS

Do you ever get that itch? You know, the one right in your ass crack! The one that makes you jump when it comes out of nowhere.
It really sucks when your in class and you get that itch.
Or when your walking down a busy road. You know what I'm talking about and you have to turn down a side street so you can stick your hands down there and scratch the shit out of it.
Then your hands smell like ass. That's always when you bump into someone you know and they get close enough to you that you think they can smell it.
doesn't that suck?

IN THE BEGINNING

It had been a beautiful day. So why not celebrate with a couple drinks.
It was a Friday evening with friends over. Constance was enjoying some wine in the beautiful new glasses she had just bought.
The kids were just haning out while the parents drank some wine and had adult conversation.
"mommy, mommy, can I have some coolaid?" Constances little three year old daughter asked.
" Yes you can honey." I'll get you some. Said Constance as she started for the kitchen to pour her daughter some coolaid" She poured it into a plastic green cup.
As the parents where enjoying adult conversation, little Amanda watched with enjoyment.
Constance looked into her wine glass and noticed that she was drinking very fast. Everytime she looked down at her wine glass it was empty. She quickly examined Amandas glass to see if maybe she was sneaking her wine without being noticed. But Amandas glass was still green coolaid. "Wow I'm holding my alcohol quite well tonight." Constance thought with a smile.
As the evening progressed, Constance noticed that Amanda was laughing pretty loud by this time. She was falling over and hanging onto things as if she might be...DRUNK! Constance grabbed Amandas glass and took a drink of the green coolaid. By this time the coolaid was about 80% wine. "oh my God!" My three year old daughter is hammered. Said Constance trying to keep it together. Just as Constance reached out to pick her baby up. Amanda puked all over the floor.
"My belly hurts." Amanda said holding her stomach hunched over."
Stumbling down the hall way of the three story apartment they lived in, Constance walked her daughter outside for fresh air. Up and down the streets for quite sometime they walked. Amanda laughed and puked and stumbled as Constance walked with her. Teary eyed as to the level of parenting she had possessed this night. Constance knew she had fucked up. Looking into her mothers eyes, Amanda had no idea that this would be the beginning of her life to come.

Favorite movies-will update frequently

There is no order but some I may like more then others.


1. PULP FICTION-JOHN TRAVOLTA KICKS ASS!!!!
2. A RIVER RUNS THREW IT-DIDN'T CRY BUT STILL GOOD
3. SLEEPERS-STAR STUDDED CAST-VERY SAD STORY-INTENSE
4. ALL ADAM SANDLER MOVIES!!!
LITTLE NICKY-VERY FUNNY SHIT!
THE WEDDING SINGER-AUNT LINDA YOU A BITCH HAHAHA-I WANNA GROW OLD WITH YOU AHHHHH!-
BILLY MADISON-HOW REAL CAN ONE PERSON GET?-LOVE A MAN WHO CAN MAKE ME LAUGH-
HAPPY GILMORE-THE PRICE IS WRONG BITCH!-OH MY FUCKING GOD!! NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD
PUNCH DRUNK LOVE-BEST ADAM SANDLER FIGHT EVER!
BIG DADDY-NEVER WANTED HIM MORE
BULLET PROOF-DISNEY LAND-FABULOUS!!!!

Favorite song quotes-will update frequently

I get all numb....
We're the same numb and it brings our knees to the earth
So Godbless you all for the song you saved us....
For the hearts you break every time you moan
And Godbless you all on the earth

Deftones-Minerva


I don't wanna be
Anything other then what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do
Is think of me and I have piece of mind
I'm tired of looking round rooms
Wondering what I've got to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other then me

Gavin DeGraw-I don't want to be


I heard about your regrets
I heard that you were feeling sorry
I heard from someone that you wish you could
Set things right between us
I guess I should of heard of that from you
I guess I should of heard of that from you
Don't you see
Don't you see
That the charade is over
And all the best deceptions and clever covered story
Awards
Go to you
So kiss me hard
Cause this will be the last time that I'll let you
You will be back someday
And this awkward kiss that screams of other peoples lips
Will be of service
To giving you away
To giving you away.....
I'm waiting for blood
To flow to my fingers
I'll be alright When my hands get worm
Ignoring the phone
I'd rather say nothing
I'd rather you never heard my voice
Your calling too late
Too late to be gracious

Dashboard Confessional-The best deceptions


Piano man
He makes a stand
In the auditorium
lookin on
She sings her song
The words she knows
The tune she hums

Elton John-Tiny dancer


He wants to dream like a young man
With the wisdom of an old man
He want his home and security
He wants to live like a sinner at sea
Beautiful loser
Where you gonna fall
When you realize
You just cant have it all
He's your oldest and your best friend
When you need him
He'll be there again
He's always willing to be second best
A perfect logger
A perfect guest
Beautiful loser
Read it on the wall
When you realize you just can't have it all!!!!

Bob Seger-Beautiful loser


I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewed acrossed a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
Pretend I that I am weightless
And in this moment
I am happy
Happy
I....
Wish you were here

Incubus-Wish you were here


No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings
like I do
And I blame you
And one one bites back as hard
On there anger
None iof my pain will
Can show threw

Limp Bisket/Behind blue eyes-original artist-The Who


So I
Pull over to the side of the road
I heard
Son do you know what IM stopping you for
Cause IM young and IM black and my hats real low
Do I look the a mind reader sir
I don't know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some more
Well you were doing 55 in a 54
License and registration and step out of the car
You carring a weapon on you
I know a lot of you are
I aint steppin out of shit
All my papers legit
Well do you mine if i look around the car a little bit
Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk in the back
And I know my rights so you gonna need a warrant for that
Aren't you sharp
Is you a type a law or somethin
Someone important or somethin
Ta I aint a the bar
But I know a little bit
Enough tthat you wont illegally search my shit
We'll see how smart you are when the k-9 comes
I got 99 problems but a bitch aint one

Jay z-99 problems


This is my life
It's not what it was before
All these feelings I've shared
These are my dreams
I've never lived before
Some body shake me cause I
I must be sleeping
Now that were here
So far away
And I feel like I can face the day

Stained-So far away


This vacations useless
These white pills are kind
I've given a lot of thought on this 13 hour drive
I miss the grinding concrete
Where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing
In the glow of our headlights
I given a lot of though to
The nights we used to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing
On your bedroom floor
Where I layed and told you
But you swear you loved me more
Do you care if I
Don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight
Will you think of me
Will I shake this off
Pretend it's all ok
That's there some one out there
Who feels just like me
There is
Thoughs notes you wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given a lot of thought
On how to write you back this fall
With every single letter
In ever single word
There will be a hidden message
About a boy who loves a girl

Box Car Racer-There is

All day
Stairing at the seilin
Makin
Friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices tellin me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for somethin
Oh no
Feeling like IM headed for a
Break down
And I don't know why
But IM not crazy
IM just a little unwell
I know
Right now you cant tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
IM not crazy
IM just a little impaired
I know
Right now you don't care
But soon enough your gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know
I know they've all been talking bout me
I can here them whisper
And it make me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Some how
I've lost my mind

Matchbox Twenty-Unwell


I've got a hole
In me now
Yah I've got a star I can talk about
She keeps a picture of me
In her apartment in the city
Some things in this world man they don't make sense
Some things you don't need until they leave you
There the things that you miss
Baby baby baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all IM up against out in this world
And maybe maybe maybe
You'll find something that's enough to keep you
Well if the bright lights don't revive you
You should turn your self around and come on home
LET THAT CITY TAKE YOU IN
LET THAT CITY SPIT YOU OUT
LET THAT CITY TAKE YOU DOWN
GOD SAKES TURN AROUND!!!!

Matchbox Twenty-Bright lights

for fuck sakes!!!!

Do you ever meet a guy and think he's just the greatest thing ever? You work so hard to get him to think about you all day at work. Trying to say the perfect things so he thinks your so smart. You spray your perfume on their pillow so your the last person they think about before they sleep. When the phone rings you have the butterfly's thinking it might be him. Everythings perfect.
Until you get to know him. You begin to pick him apart. When you talk to him on the phone you watch tv and just say hmmmmmm yep.
Why do I let guys fall in love with me and then break their heart? It's been a problem I've had since I was 14. I can't stand it when a guy shows up at my house during the week and wants to spend time with me. I can't stand it when a guy tells me he loves me after one week of dating. I can't stand when a guy trys just to move in on me. Like Fuck I need my space!
So don't try in come to my home and change my life. This is my fairytale. I don't ask for much.

IT HAPPENS

This is the first of several stories about one fucked up girl.

At the age of 14 I was lost. Always trying to fit in, but never really pulling it off. If it wasn't something I had done, it would have been something I'd said. Twisting threw life never really owning a friendship from childhood it was hard to fit in.

Sitting at hideout restaurant in lussia. Having skipped school, which wasn't anything unusual. My friend Erin and I decided to leave home "run away" and go to Hamilton. Not for one moment did I hesitate. I was always up for anything. So we were off. But how would we get there? Erin just happened to know a guy named john cougar Who had a car. If we were lucky we might be able to sweet talk our way into a ride. The only problem was that John was married with two kids. As luck would have it, johns wife and kids were away and he would love for us to come over. When we'd shown up, his house was defiantly that of a family man. Not too dirty but lived in.
We started the afternoon off with a couple of beers. Talking about life and the exciting things we'd like to do.
As the evening grew on, we decided take a ride to the beach. There were many beaches in the area and it was something the people often did when drinking or doob cruisen.
When we arrived at the sandy area, it was cool but not too cool to swim. Half in the bag, Erin and I started to strip off our clothes, running shamelessly toward the water. Doug didn't seem to be too far behind. Doug was 29 years old and must have been in his glory to be in the presents of too naked 14 year olds, pissed drunk to top it all off. Some would say he was a pervert, but what some didn't know wouldn't hurt them. As I entered the water stark naked my body shivered. I could feel goose bumps cover my entire body. Just covering my breasts the water was so cold it took a moment to regain my breath. It was only the middle of June and it would take half the summer to warm up the lake. It was now pitch dark and I was a little uneasy about swimming in the Erie water under the moonlight because of the horror stories I heard about massive under toes in this area. So I stayed close to John and Erin. If I was going down they were coming with me. Suddenly, what was this? Doug was behind me and I could feel something pressing HARD against my ass. Honestly, I didn't mind. I let it move closer until his entire manhood was kept warm from the cold waters inside me. Casually, so Erin wouldn't notice, he slowly moved himself in and out of me. I couldn't tell if I was wet, but who was I kidding, I was soaked. I moved away from his touch and suggested we return to his house for more drinks.
The drive home was long. I drank as much as I could so I could keep the same fuck it attitude long enough to get fucked. Because lets face it , a married man, that's all it would ever be.
When we returned back to his house, we turned to the music up loud and drank hard for another 30 minutes or so. I crept up the stairs and found my way into his and his wives bedroom. Waiting for his entrance, I lay on his bead. Not sexy, not welcoming him in, just on my stomach, leg bent out to the side for comfort. Approximately 5 minutes after I ventured up stairs, there he would be. Gliding into bed with me with only one intention and it was not to sleep. I noticed the music still blaring down stairs after he came in. Which was perfect, cause we could make as much noise as we wanted without bothering Erin. Sex with John was not at all passionate nor was it bad. His cock was large and fat. A rare quality in a man. His wife was lucky to have a cock that blessed by god. I screamed with pleasure as he grabbed me by my ankles and trusted me hard and fast. Being 14 I had never had a cock this large. Surprisingly it didn't hurt. It must have been from years of exploring this area myself. Before john, I had only been with one other guy. I gave myself to him. He dumped me soon after. John had given me so much that night. He taught me things I had never known, even from my fathers broad selection of porn.
The next morning came faster for John and I then it did for Erin. Regardless I was ready for our grand adventure to Hamilton.......

This is the first post of one fucked up girl

This blog is beginning because of a girl who has inspired me to do so by her creative writing.
Her stories give a indepth perspective on how fabulous the mind can be.

I don't really know exactly what I'm going to do with this blog, but I have come up with a few ideas. So if you are reading this, please come back to explore my thoughts. They can be very loving, adventurous and extremely fucked!!!!!