Ssssshhhhhut the fuck up!
The Oscars are on.. I got some strawbarries wiped cream and angel food cake to enjoy my night..

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it."
"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a really nice, tight-looking ass!!!!!!!"

"Yesterday's Feelings"

Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind
Where worries are washed out to sea
See the changes, people's faces blurred out
Like the sun spots or raindrops

Now all those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time
but today I've wasted away for today is on my mind

Left the only worries I had in my hands
Away from the light in my eyes
Holding tight and try not to hide how I feel
'Cause feelings mean nothing now

All those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time
but today I've wasted away for today is on my mind
(yeah today is on my mind)

Now I can't care to worry
I'm feeling so lonely
Breaking apart all this love in my heart

Close my eyes and move to the back of my mind
Where feelings mean nothing now

All those feelings, those yesterdays feelings will all be lost in time (all be lost in time)
But today I've wasted away for today is on my mind
for today is on my mind
yeah today is on my mind

Now I can't care to worry
I'm feeling so lonely
Breaking apart all this love in my heart

ByTheUsed

Blue and Yellow

and it's all in how you mix the two
and it starts just where the light exists
it's a feeling that you cannot miss
and it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

well you're never gonna find it
if you're looking for it
won't come your way
well you'll never find it
if you're looking for it

should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way your hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you

and you never would have thought in the end
how amazing it feels just to live again
it's a feeling that you cannot miss
it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

well you're never gonna find it
if you're looking for it
won't come your way
well you'll never find it
if you're looking for it

should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way your hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you

should've said something but I've said it enough
by the way my words were faded
rather waste some time with you

waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you

should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way your hands were shaking
rather waste my time with you

should've said something but I've said it enough
by the way my words were faded
rather waste my time with you

should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way your hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you

waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you
waste some time with you

should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way your hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you

By The Used

I have thins Friend..Her name is Courtney.. We have been friends since we were practically born cause our moms were good friends.. Cortney and I were bad children.. She wasn't a very good influence at all.. Too sweet little girls walk into a candy store and come out with 5 dollars worth of free candy.. She also thinks that everything we did as chilren was funny and feels the need to tell all my new friends about the embarrassing things we did when we were young.. She thinks the stories are just fucking hilarious.. Like when we used to make out with eachother.. And we were caught because my mother had my little sisters baby monitor on and heard everything.. Or when we used to make my little sister sit in the corner while we watched our moms porn.. I was such a horrible sister.. Anyway.. She tells my friends theses stories.. In much more detail and my friends are horrified.. You can never lose a friend that has a sense of humor like that cause they are the ones that keep the blood flowin..

True Story

For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!

"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"

"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."

Air force one and the farmer
Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken, the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed, with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President's staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to surround the man's actor. "Sir," the senior Secret Service agent asked, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Sure did." The man muttered unconcernedly. "Do you realize that is the President of the United States' airplane?" "Yep." "Were there any survivors?" the agent gasped. "Nope. They's all kilt straight out." The farmer sighed cutting of his tractor motor. "I done buried them all myself. Took most of the morning." "The President of the United States is DEAD?" The agent gulped in disbelief. "Yep, he kept a-saying he wasn't ... but you know what a liar he is!"

Enjoy

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.

" Hi, is Tony home?"

" No, he went to the store."

"Well, you mind if I wait?"

" No, come in."

They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."

Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."

Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over. "

Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

Rubbish.. Did you sell me?

Today I went to Dairy Queen and bought an ice cream cake..
Now I bought this cake for no other reason then they are amazing and I just wanted to eat it.. It is a ten inch cake.. I split on it with my friend Beth.. I have had 3 pieces.. She has had one..I do not think that is really fare.. Although I cannot help myself because it is so good.. SO good I could not wait for someone's birthday to buy one.. I still had to pick a cake with a design.. I stared into the freezer for a long time trying to decide which one I was going to choose.. There were smiley faces and roses EST.. I chose thumper..And it had a little butterfly on it also..
Lovely..
And good..

I noticed that in my counter a link kept coming up that was blogshare.
So I remembered applying for it a while ago and just leaving it at that.
I went back into it when I noticed it and entered my URL. It seems that Rubbish Films owns me and I am worth over 2 thousand dollars.. Well Rubbish Films owns 50% of me and Jason owns 2%.. I would like to think that I own the other 48% remaining.. It is strange because it sort of feel like a prostitute, but in a good way..
I am glad that I am worth something none the less..

This will be the 7th day that i have been sick.. I think it is a personal record
I am going insane.. I have not felt myself in a while..

I hope everyone had a little VD to spread with one another..
Now i am going to hork up some nice green flem, have a cigarette and cry in silence for a while over my turning stomach and soar throat..
Have a day..

Some times life gives you blows.. Some times life knocks you on your ass..
Some times life is good to you.. But really think about it.. The only people who make it in life without too many blows to knock you on your ass are the ones who are not lazy.. So get off your ass and do something about it..

My Pictures

I Do not know how to get my pics in my template properly.. So they are at the bottom of my blog.. It will do for now.. I can change them up..
Do you know where to put my url on my template so it can be like a post?

I went to bed...
I went to bed thinking that maybe if I did I would wake up, turn on Sports Center
and have witnessed a miracle..
A dynasty? Well that is a matter of opinion..
I guess we will have to cross our fingers and wish for next year..
Terell was playing like the man for having a broken leg! 122 yards!
Where did they go wrong? Well it is too early in the morning to argue that..
You could say I skipped work today cause I am lazy..
Or you could say I skipped work today cause I hate my job..
You can say what ever the fuck you want cause I don't give a shit..

Febuary 28th is the day God blessed me..
Febuary 28th i go back to school..
I will be free of the torcher i call slave work..
Slave work, is the work you are forced to do before you are finished school and begin the beginning of your real life..
I am aslo going back in September to contiinue my passion for the Heath Care feild..
Ha! Not realy my true passion althought it will work for me just fine..
If i had the money i would remain in college for years..
I have always wanted to be a paroll officer.. Given my child hood and the enviroment i grew up in.. i would be a true asset to that profession..
I have been around criminals all my life and i know their true potental..
Most of them are begging for a chance to be freed from the prison they live in every day.. And to know that i may have helped atleast one person.. would bring me glory..
But.. instead.. I will be a RPN.. Blah..
But i will enjoy my job and that brings me peace..

BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH!!!

Some one shoot me in my head now please!
This is the most boring job i have had.
91/2 hours of sitting on my ass and listening to dry, boring shat.
I think it may be making me boring.
I would rather be in the nursing home, and if you read my shat, you will know what i wrote about that.

I CAN SNEEK ON MY BLOG AT WORK...IT IS EXCITING CAUSE IF I GET CAUGHT...

I WILL BE IN HUGE SHAT!

Very Important!!!

URGENT-URGENT- DRUG RECALL.

All drugs containing PHENYLPROPANOLAMINE are being recalled. You may want to
try calling the 800 number listed on most drug boxes and inquire about a
REFUND. Please read this CAREFULLY. Also, please pass this on to everyone
you know.

STOP TAKING anything containing this ingredient. It has been linked to
increased hemorrhagic stroke (bleeding in the brain) among women ages 18-49
in the three days after starting use of medication. Problems were not found in men, however,
the FDA recommended that everyone (even children) seek an alternative medicine.

The following medications contain Phenylpropanolamine:

Acutrim Diet Gum Appetite Suppressant
Acutrim Plus Dietary Supplements
Acu trim Maximum Strength Appetite Control
Alka-Seltzer Plus Children's Cold Medicine

Effervescent

Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold medicine (cherry or orange)

Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold Medicine Original

Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold & Cough Medicine
Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold & Flu Medicine
Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold & Sinus Effervescent
Alka Seltzer Plus Night-Time Cold Medicine
BC Allergy Sinus Cold Powder
BC Sinus Cold Powder
Comtrex Flu Therapy & Fever Relief
Day &Night Contac 12-Hour Cold Capsules
Contac 12 Hour Caplets
Coricidin D Cold, Flu & Sinus
Dexatrim Caffeine Free
Dexatrim Extended Duration
Dexatrim Gelcaps
Dexatrim Vitamin C/Caffeine Free
Dimetapp Cold & Allergy Chewable Tablets
Dimetapp Cold & Cough Liqui-Gels
Dimetapp DM Cold & Cough Elixir
Dimetapp Elixir
Dimetapp 4 Hour Liquid Gels
Dimetapp 4 Hour Tablets
Dimetapp 12 Hour Extentabs Tablets
Naldecon DX Pediatric Drops
Permathene Mega-16
Robitussin CF
Tavist-D 12 Hour Relief of Sinus & Nasal Congestion
Triaminic DM Cough Relief
Triaminic Expectorant Ches t & Head
Triaminic Syrup Cold & Allergy
Triaminic Triaminicol Cold & Cough

I just found out and called the 800# on the container for Triaminic and they
informed me that they are voluntarily recalling the following medicines
because of a certain ingredient that is causing strokes and seizures in
children:

Orange 3D Cold &Allergy Cherry (Pink)
3D Cold &Cough Berry
3D Cough Relief Yellow 3D Expectorant

They are asking you to call them at 1-800-548-3708with the lot number on the
box so they can send you postage for you to send it back to them, and they
will also issue
you a refund.

If you know of anyone else with small children, PLEASE PASS THIS ON. THIS IS
SERIOUS STUFF!

DO PASS THIS ALONG TO ALL ON YOUR MAILING LIST so people are informed.
They can then pass it along to their families.

To confirm these findings please take time to check the following:

URL: Phenylpropanolamine Information Page

Can a one-eyed person have 20/20 vision?
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Have ex-cowboys become deranged??
Have ex-drycleaners become depressed?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
Why in baseball is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A & Canada?
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of
mortgage payments.
Attempt to get a new car for your spouse- it'll be a great trade!
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize.
Everybody repeat after me..."We are all individuals."
Death to all fanatics!
Chastity is curable, if detected early.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect it back.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon.
If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight?
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
There's no future in time travel.
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
Corduroy pillows -- they're making headlines!
Polynesia -- memory loss in parrots.
A good pun is its own reword.
Laughing stock -- cattle with a sense of humor?
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
I love cats ... they taste just like chicken.
Lord save me from your followers.
Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Be nice to your kids. They'll be choosing your nursing home.
Some people have a way with words, others not have way.
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I want patience... AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!
If you spread out all the sand in North Africa, it would cover the Sahara Desert.
Drink your Coffee! There are people in India sleeping.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
I have friends who swear they dream in color...It's just a pigment of their imagination.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Look out for #1. Don't step in #2, either.
Department of Redundancy Department
90% of all statistics are made up.
"If the shoe fits, buy it." Imelda Marcos
It's sad how whole families are torn apart by simple things, like wild dogs.
Karaoke is Japanese for "Tone Deaf"
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.
A day for firm decisions! Or is it?
A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.
A day without sunshine is like night.
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
Alzheimer's advantage: New friends every day.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.
Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia.
Bigamy: one wife too many. Monogamy: same thing
Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.
Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise.
Chipmunks roasting on an open fire.
Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
Clairvoyants meeting canceled due to unforeseen events.
Clones are people two.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools.
Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming, terrified, like his passengers.
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
Don't be a sexist, broads hate that.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Friction can be a drag sometimes.
Geez if you believe in honkus.
He's a graduate of The Uncle Fester & Keith Moon School of hair styling.
Have you seen Quasimoto? I have a hunch he's back!
He who places head in sand, will get kicked in the end!
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got.
I bet you I could stop gambling.
I couldn't care less about apathy.
I got arrested in LA and boy am I beat!
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Drilling for oil is boring.
Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're all right now.
I wouldn't touch the Metric System with a 3.048m pole!
I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.
How come overtones and undertones are the same thing?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?