Well....It's 11:25am and I am feeling pretty sketchy....I called my mom last night and professed my love and respect for her.....WOW! What a night....Lets do it again some time!

JUST IN CASE YOU WANTED TO SING ALONG....

I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV
It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see
I just lit some crazy ass shit
that my friend overnight mailed to me

I'm fucking wasted
It's the best shit I ever tasted
I think they fucking laced it
Cause I'm so damn lambasted

Oh my friend came over so I packed him a pipe
I told him he better go easy with this shit but he didn't believe the hype
He sparked three bows just to show he could take it
Two minutes later he was playing backgammon naked

He's fucking wasted
It's the best shit he ever tasted
He's lost in fucking spaced-ed
Cause he's so wicked wicked wasted

Oh I spent the last two hours
hiding under my bed
Cause I looked in the garbage can
and I think I saw my Uncle Louie's head

I'm fucking wasted

Well my friend blew a hit into my pet bird's face
The bird laughed hysterically and started to moonwalk all over the place
He tripped over the toaster wire and fell on his beak
He looked at the two of us and he started to speak

I'm fucking wasted
It's the best shit I've ever tasted
My brain's been erased-ed
Well fucking fried

I'm sitting in the bathtub wanting something to eat
I wanted a pizza the bird said Pepperoni would be sweet
Delivery guy showed up four hours later, handed me his shoe
I said we ordered pizza buddy, what the hell's up with you

I'm fucking wasted
It's the best shit I ever fucking tasted
Oh fucking shit

I'm way too baked

MMMKAYYYY!!!!

There are times when you get suckered in
By drugs and alchohol and sex with women-mmkay
But its when you do these things too much
That you've become an addict and must get back in touch
You can do it Its all up to you-mmmmmkay
With a little plan you can change your life tooo-day
You dont have to spend your life addicted to smack
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for crack
Follow my plan and very soon you will see-eeyy, its easy mmkay

Step 1: Instead of ass say buns, like "kiss my buns" or "you're a buns hole"

Step 2: Instead of shit say poo, as in "bull poo", "poo head" and this "poo is cold"

Step 3: With bitch drop the t because bich is latin for generosity

Step 4: Dont say fuck any more because fuck is the worst word that you can say

So just use the word mmmkay!

We can do it its all up to us-mmmkay (mmmkay)
With a little plan we can change our lives tooo-day
you can change it today
We don't have to spend our lives shootin up in the trash
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash
Follow this plan and very soon you will see-eey
Its easy mmkay!

Instead of ass say buns,
like kiss my buns or you're a buns hole

Instead of shit say poo,
as in bull poo, poo head and this poo is cold

With bitch drop the t
because bich is latin for generosity

Dont say fuck any more
Cuz fuck is the worst word that you can say
Fuck is the worst word that you can say
We shouldn't say fuck, no we shouldn't say fuck, fuck nooooo!!!
Your cured, you can go!
We don't have to spend our lives shootin up in the trash
homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash
Follow this plan and very soon you will saaay
Its easy mmmkay!
It's easy mmmkay!
It's easy mmmkay!
It's easy mmmkay!
It's easy mmmkaaaaaaaayy
It's easy mmm
It's easy mmm
It's easy mmm
It's easy mmmkaaaay
Mmmkay
Mmmkay
Mmmkay

Blame Canada!

Times have changed,
our kids are getting worse
They won't obey their parents they just wan't to fart and curse

Should we blame the government?
Or blame society?

Or should
we blame the images on TV?

No,blame Canada, blame Canada
With all thier beedy little eyes have packed thier heads so full of lies, blame Canada, blame Canada,
we need to form a full assault its canadas fault

Don't blame me for my son Stan he saw the darn cartoon and now hes of to join the klan

And my boy Eric once had my picture on his shelf but now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself

Well? Blame Canada, blame Canada, it seems that everythings gone wrong since Canada came along, blame
Canada, blame Canada
They're not even a real country
anyway

My son could have been a doctor or a lawyer rich and true instead he burned up like a piggy on a barbeque
Should we blame the matches? Should we blame the fire?
Or the doctors who allowed
him to expire Heck no, blame Canada, blame Canada, with all their hockey hollabaloo

And that bitch Ann Murray too Everyone: Blame Canada, shame on Canada, for the smut we must stuff the
trash we must stash the laughter and fuck must all be undone we must blame them the cause of fuss before
somebody thinks of blaming us

What the fuck is up?

I have been sooo busy with school it's insane!
I fucking hate my placement and I want to barf every day I leave there...
My vcr is broken....The screen is fucked on it but regardless I still watch movies.... So I watched South park the movie with the screen moving up and down the whole time....And you know what....It was still fucking hilarious!
I really have nothing to fucking say........My brain has been takin over by something forein.....Like learning.....Its sucking the life from me completely!
I'm turning to to some kind of responsible person.....It's scary really....
Speaking of scary....Scary movie was on tv last night...And even though I own it on vhs...Yes vhs cause I don't believe in spending twice as much on something that cost half as much to make. Anyway Even though I own it I watched it on tv anyway...
And it was fucking hilarious!
I am soo fucking tired you have no clue....I start work at 630am....so I don't get the 12 hours of sleep anymore that IM used to....
I'm soo getting evicted from my apartment and it sucks! I don't want to have to move again! I move like twice a year and its getting hard on my back man!
Anyway.....Talk more shit to you soon
WHATEVER?

What the fuck is up?

I have been sooo busy with school it's insane!
I fucking hate my placement and I want to barf every day I leave there...
My vcr is broken....The screen is fucked on it but regardless I still watch movies.... So I watched South park the movie with the screen moving up and down the whole time....And you know what....It was still fucking hilarious!
I really have nothing to fucking say........My brain has been takin over by something forein.....Like learning.....Its sucking the life from me completely!
I'm turning to to some kind of responsible person.....It's scary really....
Speaking of scary....Scary movie was on tv last night...And even though I own it on vhs...Yes vhs cause I don't believe in spending twice as much on something that cost half as much to make. Anyway Even though I own it I watched it on tv anyway...
And it was fucking hilarious!
I am soo fucking tired you have no clue....I start work at 630am....so I don't get the 12 hours of sleep anymore that IM used to....
I'm soo getting evicted from my apartment and it sucks! I don't want to have to move again! I move like twice a year and its getting hard on my back man!
Anyway.....Talk more shit to you soon
WHATEVER?

Hey baby!

So I went to the bar on the weekend....
It was a blast!
I've been soo horny lately... I told my self that I was picking up tonight!
So I seen this boy and he was sooo sweet!
So my pick up line was ...
I have a queen size bed, a fluffy blanket, and lots of pillows....Want to see them?
Long story short I took that boy home and we had a long night of hardcore sex!
AHHHHHH! I'm such a hoe! But it was worth the names........
The next day I was in the best mood but now IM just horny again.....

Thought this was cute!

o.c man
hey man.... im like trippin out and shit man.....like theres u..... and ur family.... but theres me too.......i dunno....... i just got all these crazy ideas man.......its like...theres me...and u...and i think...and then we're like.....the same height man.....and thats really neat.....like...its just like....war man....like wow....war.....crazy...ur crazy....i like you....but ur crazy...like....holy shit man....like....look at that cloud man....theres a vein in it n shit man.....n its bleedin on me man.....must be that acid u gave me man.....whoa dude

Long stories with fabulous endings.........

nobody's perfect....But We're Nobody's....Coinky dink? I THINK NOT!!!!

I stole this from my sisters blog to show you my sister and her friends mantality....they rock

The Message Gibson Left Us Word 4 Word:
Page 1 of 2:
I have ur doggy. No worries. Just took him 4 a walk.
Here is my i.d 4 collateral.
Page 2 of 11:
(nothing on it)
Page 4 of 9:
So u find me, if the doggy dog a.k.a. peteo, a.k.a.P to tha E, a.k.a.P..... Is Not returned
Signed....Gibs and peteo....
Not A Page:
If problem...... I Dont Care...But call Gibbs.
P.M.S...Page 3 Of C: Wes Dropped --->of/Off<---(unsure, Failed Spelling)
But any way, he dropped off the EXTENSI OK?
And JoOb Daye.....

This was actually written to us, by jayson and the dog....To anyone who actually took the time to read this....I am truly sorry....4 We are all now a little bit more dumb having read it.

I'm going to see Matt Good this weekend and I'm so stoked about this!
I'm going to see him at the Warehouse in Toronto!
tribute to Matt Good.......... I've found me a reason
So check me tomorrow
We'll see if I'm leakin
Push and push and push till it hurts
like devils on roller skates
Were down at the roller rink
Pickin up chicks for me
Ones that....
Push and push and push till it hurts
Push and push till it hurts

Time bomb....





Picture your self
Sleeping on a plane
there's something tickin in the over head
and inside your brains
there's bodies in the water
and bodies in your basement
If heavens for clean people
It's vacant

IM frantic!
So load me up!
It seems so practiced
Whatever puts me all the way out
What ever puts me all the way out....

First day....

Oh my fucking barf!!!!
If I wasn't the strong and independent woman I lie to be....
I would have ran out of that fucking nursing home crying like a little bitch!
Old, sickly people...Making weird noises that yes do scare me a little...
Wiping old wrinkly pussys and penises.....
Feeding pureed food that looks like dog food to people that can barely see or hear you....Smelling peoples shit and wiping their asses even though your this fucking close to barfing your gagging so hard at some point you have to leave the room for a moment to tell your self just be strong....
I will never chew my nails again....Not after what iv touched today!
OH IM FUCKING GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!!!
There is know way I will do this for my life!
I heard there is a need for ultra sound techs.....
IM there!

I took a bomb and then went to my first aid and cpr class.....
You don't want me there when your choking or need cpr....
All I can remember is those manikins and their round mouths and no eyes and it was just scary but it made me laugh.....
We did a play with them they were pimps and bitch's and I was trying to give the poor civilian cpr while the pimps and bitches were distracting me....
What a day......
pimps and bitches....]
WHATEVER?

OH? Sorry Baby

My son is taking a laxative because he is having troubles with his intestines.
Every night he wakes up and crys cause his stomach is hurting him and he poops all night. I thought he was over exaggerating......So I took the bottle of laxative and looked at the instructions for the amount an adult is to take....5ml.....
Oh my shit!!!!! For a child it is 2 to 3ml........I on the other hand was giving him for the past two days 2 table spoons........Poor guy!
I decided to see what the fuss was about anyway and I took 5ml my self.....I said to myself that this is nothing it doesn't hurt at all......I went to bed just fine.....
Waking up in the morning on the other hand was a whole other story.....My stomach was in knots! It felt like some one was twisting my insides all day....And this was on 5ml opposed to 2 tablespoons.....I shit like a mofo and it was good...Silence....
WHATEVER?

OH IT'S EX BOYFRIEND BASHING TIME MO FOS!!!!!
BRING IT!!!!!!!

If you were dating a guy and he destroyed your patio set,banged on your walls at 2am,and fought with your neighbors cause he was so pissed drunk.....Would you stay with him.....Or would you tell him he is a stupid ass and to go fuck him self?.....
I did # 2....................And I'll say it again...GO FUCK YOUR SELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RECIPE

Shame Sticks

1 bar of butter
1 cup of sugar
1 popsicle stick

insert popsicle stick into bar of butter.
Place sugar on flat surface.
Roll butter stick evenly acrossed sugar until coded to personal preference.

Ready instantly!
Eat shamefully!

I watched "Walking Tall" the other night....And last night. And let me tell ya!
The Rock is one hell of a hot and sexy piece of meat! I didn't even care my boyfriend was sitting right there when there was a sex scene with The Rock and some chick, and I yelled out "Take it off!!!" OHHHHHH MY! The things I would let him do to me are endless! SO if you are a female and reading this rent it! It's better then porn! And if you are a guy and reading this, This movie kicked ass! Awesome fight scenes! And comedy......AND HOT MAN MEAT!!!!!

RESPECT

It's all about respect....Isn't it?
"Some people" wouldn't know respect if it smacked them in there friggin head.
"Some people" Just have trailer trash attitudes, a mouth that can be hear a mile away and morals that would make an average person want to vomit....
"Some people" Just need to take a look in the mirror and realize that they are far from perfect and they should have been thankful to have the friends that they had.
Instead of being a dumb ass and acting like their fucking shit don't stink.
Cause let me tell ya! Some times "They" Have a lot of things to say about
"Some people" But "They" have class, and respect others feelings.
So as far as "They" are concerned....Well "they" aren't

I've been sooo busy with school...It's pretty stressful...so I took today off.
I need to catch up on my porn....My vibrator misses me and I;m soooo sorry for that.
I didn't mean to put coffee cigarettes and school first... It will never happen again,
I promise..Silence...

A TRUE FRIEND WOULD SAY...

FRIENDSHIP

Friendship is like pissing your pants...
Everyone can see it....
But only you can feel it's true warmth...
Thank You....For being the piss in my pants...

On the weekend I went to Club 181 and I had the time of my life!
Gay people rock!
And the music was good......Perfect for what I was on.
I danced my ass off!

DUMB ASS!

OK...So I had my friend Eddie read my smokes and he pointed out to me that it says additive free.....
Whatever?

Philly NOOOOOOOO!!!!

I was watching TV the other day when I noticed that Philly aka the Eagles did a Chucky soup commercial....
Just fucking great!!!!! Cause you know what they say about everyone who does those....
watch... Now they will make it to the champion ship game a lose to the underdog....
FUCKIN DUMB ASSES.....
I really thought they had a chance this year!

MMMMMMM....

I seen the new Britney Spears video the other day at the bar in my school....
I hate Britney Spears.....
But i'd fuck her....

My friends from school and i are going to the bars tonight....
Eddie is the chooser of the bar...
So were going to a bar called The 181....
I had better not get too drunk and start talking to the girls with short hair and butchy frames, cause im not going home with any dikes tonight....
NOOOOOO thank U!!!!

THE FAB FIVE

College has been quite the experience. I'm loving it!
Thanks to some great people I've met it's been as good as it could ever get.
The people I've met are the nicest most easy going and sick in the head like me.
The five of us have formed a group. Ya were pretty immature.
Carly aka shanahnah-22 Very pretty girl but doesn't walk like she knows it.
Jen aka shaniqua-24 Married with 2 kids, eats nothing but junk food but is skinny as a rail.
Krista aka shaqueefa-24 married with 3 kids, extremely funny and and easy going.
Me aka shummamuclayda-24 sick in the head but has the beauty of a goddess to over look
this......um just go with it....
and Eddie aka Shaft-23 as feminine as the rest of us only disguised as a male.
Super cute! He's our pimp and were his bitches....
And together we have formed The Fab Five
Were gonne get t-shirts made, Us four girls are getting "Were his bitches" shirts
And Eddies getting "I'm their pimp"
And to think, in 5 years we'll be your nurses.....
Whatever?